The Hall of Shame
by kaleidoscopeflowers
Summary: A parody different from all the others. If you're looking for a cliche collection as a guide how not to write any type of PJO story, just look right here! There's gag-worthy cheesiness, Mary Sues, and a bucket of recycled plotlines!
1. Introducing the Unintentional Mary Sue

_**Congratulations for stumbling across this fic of mine. It's meant to be a collection of cliché parodies, so don't take this as my serious writing. Now that that's out of the way, I hope you enjoy it!**_

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My name is Talianna Rose. Call me Tally for short. Look, I didn't want to be a demigod. I didn't want to save the world. But apparently I have to.

I just discovered I was a daughter of Nyx, goddess of night. I'm destined to save the world, or so this prophecy says. I have long, beautiful black hair, unnaturally pale skin, and golden eyes.

When I was little, my mom gave me a spiked bracelet. She said to use it in a time of need, but I never used it until I turned fifteen. My dad was killed in a "car accident" with my mom, and I've been living on the run ever since. One day, I was in the woods and I found this huge serpenty thing. It had spikes, scales, and I was pretty sure it wasn't a bear.

"Rawrrrrr," it said. I remembered what my mom had said all those years ago and I got an idea. I unclasped my bracelet and it turned into this magical shield that had ninja throwing stars coming out of it. The monster thing immediately disintegrated into dust and I passed out.

When I woke up I was being carried by some kid in black, kind of cute I guess, but a little grumpy looking.

"What the heck?" I asked.

"Shut up, didn't you see the monster?" he said.

"What's your name?" I asked, annoyed.

"Nico di Angelo," he said.

"Well, nice to meet you, but where the fuck are we going?"

"The only place you can be safe," he said, and didn't talk after that. I flung my long, gorgeously glossy black hair over my shoulder in an indifferent way.

We got to this camp-looking place and the emo-looking Nico dude let me walk after that. I dusted myself off and asked why we were here.

"You're a demigod," he said. "Just go to the Big House, they'll explain." Then he ran away and I went to the huge house dominating the horizon. There was a centaur on the porch.

"Another one," he sighed. "I assume you were attacked by a monster,"

"Yeah. But I killed it."

"Hmmm." He looked me over and then gives a faint gasp. "Daughter of Nyx," he says. "This is not good."

"What is it?" I demanded, staring at him with intense golden eyes.

"Just follow me," he said, and I did. He rummaged through some stuff and handed me a piece of parchment. I read it in my head.

_The menace that threatens Olympus shall rise_

_And bring with it the deceit of hurt and lies_

_The responsibility of the gods to save will fall_

_On the daughter of darkness to decide all._

My head felt a little light, and the centaur murmured, "Daughter of Nyx . . . goddess of darkness . . ." he paced around the room. I exited the room, feeling uncomfortable, and went to my cabin, a black stone one. There were no people inside, except for the Nico kid.

"Stalker much," I muttered as I set my stuff down on a bed. "What are you doing here?"

He grinned darkly. "Just saying hi to our new prophecy princess."

I ignored him and flopped down on my bed. "I just want to be normal," I said.

"We all did, but it gets better," Nico says to me, and walks out of my cabin, leaving me to ponder.

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_**So now, I will offer you some help if one of your characters is suspiciously like Talianna.**_

_**Notice how a lot of things are unexplained, like how come Tally seems to accept everything very quickly and how she didn't bring anything, but she has stuff for her cabin. **_

_**She's also a Mary Sue, if you didn't notice, with beauty, a tragic past, and a bit of emo-gothness. Also, the whole "NicoxOC" thing is getting cliché, as is the "destined to save the world" plot.**_

_**Reviews and criticism are welcomed and appreciated. Thanks for reading!**_


	2. Drowning in the Sea of Fluff

**Hello, I'm back, and I've decided to tackle some more cliches. I'll come back to the story of Talianna the Mary-Sue, but I'm going to show you how not to write a Percabeth hurt/comfort fic. Kudos to Zoe Nightshade for pointing out all the horrible parts of your average Percy-and-Annabeth-like-each-other-but-they-can't-tell-each-other story and gave me the idea to write this painfully fluffy hurt/comfort fic.**

**But I've also noticed some people have developed a cult-like following of Rachel haters. Rachel's pretty awesome, OK? If she weren't partially in the way of Percabeth, you'd like her a lot.**

**Another thing that puts me off: A disclaimer featuring Rick Riordan, random PJO characters, and the author/ess in which Rick Riordan/random PJO character randomly come to tell you in some form how Percabeth23456 or someone does not own PJO in the author/ess's weak stab at humor.**

**I've been ranting too long, haven't I? Never mind. Just read it.**

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**In The Moonlight, Another Percabeth Parody

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**Annabeth's POV**

It was a late night at Camp Half-Blood, and Percy and Rachel just happened to be talking to each other in the mess hall for some odd reason. I was watching from behind a column, watching with sad eyes at the boy I knew that I loved and that girl.

_Rachel Elizabeth Dare_ . . . just looking at them made me feel like running off to sob somewhere, so I did.

**Percy's POV**

I heard her as she ran off to the creek to cry her eyeballs out, and then ran in slow motion, looking all heroic and attractive-like, to save Annabeth, leaving Rachel standing there like an idiot telling me to come back.

"What's wrong?" I asked her in my most comforting voice, putting my arm around her semi-romantically while she kept sobbing.

She pushed me away. "You. You're the problem." She glared at me and I realized right there she was the most beautiful girl in the world.

"How am I the problem?" I asked again in my stupid-but-I-sound-sincere voice.

Annabeth burst into fresh tears, and I felt guilt taking over because I realized I was in love with her, seeing her blonde curls in the moonlight whipping around her face in slow motion again like we were in a cheesy romance movie.

"Rachel. You love her, don't you?"

I paused for dramatic effect, because I already knew the answer.

"No. I love you."

And then I kissed her reassuringly, and I heard her sobbing reduce to whimpering, and then it stopped, and she shuddered in my arms.

"I love you too, Seaweed Brain."

And all I wanted was to hold Annabeth in my arms while we kissed in the moonlight.

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**Thanks for reading this second chapter, and hopefully you have enough sense to know that this is pathetic writing.  
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**Anyway, thanks, and reviews are appreciated, no matter what they contain!**


	3. Oh Joy, Artemis Has Another Kid

**Oh yes, I'm back, and with a whole bucketful of cliches to force-feed down your throat. But today, we'll just start with the Artemis-Has-A-Kid-And-Oh-Look-Mary-Sue-Alert! That kind of thing is totally OOC and, well, predictable. This edition is complete with those annoying A/Ns in between, so you get the full horrible reading experience!**

**Anyway, read on and just remember, I'm not to be held liable for injuries such as scorched retinas and eternal scarring for reading an abomination this horrible.**

**Yeah. So enjoy.**

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Hi! My name is Diana Luna Phoebe! You do notice my names mean moon, right? Isn't that SO CLEVER? It's like overshadowing . . .

Oh. Wait. I gave away a plot point, didn't I? Well, you knew it was coming, right?

Anyway, I have long, jet-black glossy hair and eyes as large and silvery as the moon that other people can't help but stare at all the time. Boys fall all over me. But I don't want them! Because I feel . . . different from them, and no one likes me cause they think I'm a_ freak_! But I'm attractive.

Anyway. CUE THE CHEESY PROLOGUE!

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***Thirteen Years Ago, Hunters Camp***

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The moon was a large white orb in the sky, pure and silver. The immortal maidens flitted around gracefully like hummingbirds. Artemis summoned her lieutenant and trusted friend, Zoe Nightshade, to her tent in absolute secrecy.

"Yes, my lady, what is it?" Zoe inquired in a whispered tone.

"You must tell no one," Artemis replied serenely. She produced a swath of silver baby blankets, with a baby inside.

Zoe gasped. "When?"

Artemis put a finger to her lips. "Tell no one, my lieutenant. She will be well cared for. But keep it secret." Zoe nodded, and took the baby. Suddenly, a mortal house appeared nearby out of nowhere **(AN: CREATIVE LICENSE! DON'T FLAME ME PLZ!)** and Zoe placed the baby on the doorstep, its large silvery eyes blinking up at her.

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***Thirteen Years Later***

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**I came home from school. I got horrible grades because I had ADHD and dyslexia. My totally unsupportive dad was home, probably drunk again. My stepmother, his wife, beats me because I get bad grades and she thinks I'm a freak too. Sob! They make me live in the attic with only a threadbare bed. I got a beating when I came home, because I had claimed to see the school cheerleader turn into a weird looking vampire thingy with freakish legs. After enduring this traumatic experience, I went upstairs to my horrible bedroom.

Then I cried myself to sleep and dreamt of moonlight.

The next day at school we started an archery unit in gym. I picked up the cheap plastic bow and immediately felt a _connection. _Then I fired all perfect bulls-eyes, and the kids didn't tease me anymore. And then—gasp! In math, my teacher turned into a weird looking clawed thing! I picked up the bow, cowering, and fired an arrow. It landed in the center of my teacher's furry body, and she disintegrated. Weird.

Anyway, then I decided to run away from home, because if my evil stepmother found out I had killed my teacher she'd beat me for sure! So I ran away with my backpack, and then I found myself face-to-face with ANOTHER huge monster! It was a snake thing this time. I immediately fired another arrow and it disintegrated, but I fainted. The next thing I knew, I was lying in a white room.

"Hi, demigod," a guy who was leaning over me said.

"Oh. Hi," I said.

"Just thought I'd tell ya, the Greek gods are real and you're one of their kids. You're at the only safe place for us, where we won't get attacked by monsters." The guy walked away, and I was completely SHOCKED! That is, like, impossible!

But then I decided to believe it, because it would take longer for the authoress to write this realistically, right?

So I'm half-god. OK, I can take this. I'm not a freak anymore! But who is my parent? Hmm?

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**So, it was horrible, right? To be expected. Anyway, daughter of Artemis stories are basically untouchable unless you are the equivalent of Shakespeare. They're so clichéd it's hard to pull it off. You have to make your daughter of Artemis fic seriously unique and well-written if you plan on attempting it.**

**Anyway, hope you enjoyed the latest installment in the Hall of Shame! Coming soon: Percy and Friends Karaoke Night! Reviews are appreciated as well!**


	4. Percy and Friends: Karaoke Night

**Hello! Thanks for all the nice reviews and to Zoe Nightshade for favorite-ing my story! Anyway, here's the next installment in the Hall of Shame: Percy and Friends Do Karaoke!**

**I had to edit this because song lyrics were not allowed, but I think I was able to make do. I completely wrote Luke's song myself, and it's really quite stupid.**

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It was a normal night at Percy's house and he was bored. Suddenly a thought came into his mind: _OOH, KARAOKE!_ Well, it was a bit, no, scratch that, way OOC, but who cares about canon nowadays anyway?

So he dug out some drachmas (who would want to spend a bunch of drachmas on inviting people to a karaoke party, anyway? Beats me) and told everyone to go to his house for karaoke, besides the fact that Annabeth was in San Francisco, Thalia was with the Hunters somewhere in the American Northwest, Luke was at Camp Half-Blood with Silena, Beckendorf, and Clarisse, and Nico was in the Underworld.

Despite all the impossibility of Clarisse spending money to see Percy, all was rather fine, besides the OOCness, transportation issues, and . . . well, just about everything. But back to the story.

Somehow the Jacksons had managed to buy a karaoke machine and microphone despite their financial troubles. "So, who's singing what?" Percy asked cheerily.

"I'll sing anything by Taylor Swift, seeing as that's what I always seem to sing," Annabeth sighed, and Percy swooned in another act of OOCness.

"Wait, Luke, why are you even here? Aren't you, like, evil now?" Thalia inquired curiously.

He shrugged. "It's a badly written story." Everyone else went back to his or her own business.

No one wanted to sing first, so Luke was forcefully pushed to the mic while screaming "Kronos will have your SOUL!"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. He already has yours, so I wouldn't worry much," Clarisse muttered as she shoved Luke. He rubbed his shoulders, glared at Clarisse, and began to sing.

_I really just want to kill you all,_

_If Kronos ruled, this would definitely be outlawed._

_The song is horrible and it sucks rotten eggs._

_It's supposed to have some Thuke,_

_Though that idea just makes me puke,_

_This is an overused plot and so OOC,_

_Oh, can't you see_

_That you don't need to do this,_

_Just join the Titans already!_

_I'm just making this up as I go along_

_So please pardon this incredibly bad song . . . _

_Word!_

He was met with several tomatoes, as well as an onion and a deck of Mythomagic cards. Thalia's shuriken narrowly missed his head and embedded itself in Percy's wall. There was an uncomfortable silence. Luke then muttered that he had to go back to camp and stalked out with several smooshed tomatoes staining his clothes. To add insult to injury, a Hermes Mythomagic card was plastered to the red sauce.

"OK, Annabeth, your turn," Silena said cheerily.

"Wait," Nico said. They all whirled around.

"You do realize this is a recycled plot and the author of this has no writing talent whatsoever and is just copying-and-pasting song lyrics which are punctuated by bits of OOC dialogue?"

"…"

"Yeah," Percy said.

Nico blinked.

"Okay. Just making sure you understood."

Then Annabeth stepped up to the mic, about to sing.

But just at that moment, the Authoress materialized in the room. "Ugh! I'm so sick of this! Look, you can all just go. Now. Shoo, canon characters. You don't deserve to have this inflicted upon you." She disappeared with a glare, and the characters milled around, utterly bewildered.

Then, all Hades broke loose as a loudspeaker from nowhere started speaking: "The rescue crew will be here soon. The plot bunnies responsible have been apprehended. The Emergency Flamer and Editing Squads are also on the way. Do not panic and please return to your canon locations."

The wail of sirens was heard outside the apartment window.

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**I had a lot of fun writing this one, haha. I hate reading karaoke fics because they just paste the whole song and that's basically the story, and no one really cares about reading the whole song lyrics. I'll be working on Truth or Dare next, so stay tuned!**

**As always, reviews are love, and your thoughts matter a lot to me! **


	5. Percy and Friends: Truth or Dare

**Thanks for all your feedback, and here's my review replies:**

**To Unsigned. For Now:**

**No, I think Honest101 has a community or forum called the same thing, I've never actually talked to her. **

**Also, thanks for all your ideas! Methinks I have a plan for the next few chapters, and I really appreciate your input. You all get e-hugs!**

**But, with no further ado, Percy and Friends do Truth or Dare, the next installment in the Hall of Shame and the second in the "Percy and Friends" cliché collection!**

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It was a normal day at Camp Half-Blood. Silena had forcefully rounded up some people to play Truth or Dare with her. Strangely, no one had activities (Apparently, the Poseidon, Athena, Hades, Ares, Aphrodite, Hephaestus, and Hermes cabins were all free, and Luke was still not evil enough to pass up a game of Truth or Dare with his worst enemies).

"Hey, Annabeth! Come play Truth or Dare!" Silena did not wait for an answer and grabbed the daughter of Athena's arm, leading her to the amphitheater where Nico, Percy, Thalia, Luke, Beckendorf, Travis, Connor, and Clarisse sat in a circle. Silena sat down with a grin on her face.

"OK, who's going first?" Silena asked in her annoyingly bubbly voice.

"Not me," Luke automatically said.

"OK, then Thalia," Silena exclaimed. "Like, truth, or dare?"

"Uh . . . dare," the hunter of Artemis grumbled.

"OK! Um, I dare you to . . . tell Mr. D to grow a pair." Thalia was seething.

"Fine." She stalked off. Dionysus was on the porch of the Big House playing pinochle.

"Mr. D?" Thalia asked.

"Yes, yes what is it?" he replied in his bored voice.

"Grow a pair," Thalia replied, and in the few seconds that Mr. D's mouth dropped open she sprinted down the hill to the amphitheater, where several demigods were laughing. She sat down quickly and calmly. "Uh . . . Nico, your turn. Truth or dare?"

"Dare," he said coolly. Thalia's eyes narrowed.

"All right," she said slowly. " I dare you to let Silena dress you!" Nico's eyes widened in shock and Silena snapped her fingers. Two Aphrodite cronies appeared and frog-marched Nico to the Aphrodite cabin. When he came out, he was wearing a pink dress and a pair of sparkling designer heels. The Stoll brothers whipped out a camera.

"Let me go change!" Nico screeched. After a few seconds of camera flashes, an Aphrodite crony handed him his bundle of black clothing, and he ran off to his cabin, but tripped over the heels on the way. There was more laughter, and he shot everyone a glare.

When he came back out, he sat down and looked at everyone in the circle, deciding on a victim. "Luke!" he said.

"What?" the possessed demigod asked irritably.

"I dare you to kiss Thalia for more than ten seconds!"

"But she's a Huntress! She took an oath! And I hate her!"

"But we're playing Truth or Dare!"

"Oh, fine." He leaned in. The Stoll brothers whistled. Clarisse frowned. Silena checked her watch. "Time's up!" she said happily. Luke and Thalia withdrew from each other, looking daggers at each other and Nico.

Luke tried to regain his calm disposition. "All right. Annabeth, truth or dare?"

"Truth," she replied smugly. _That way he can't dare me to kiss Percy!_

"Okay, I dare Annabeth to join the Titans!"

"That's not fair!" Annabeth replied indignantly. Luke sighed. "It was worth a shot," he said. "All right, then, tell _Percy_ your true feelings for him." He smirked at Annabeth's shocked look.

Her face was red. "I love you, Percy!" she said.

"I love you too, Annabeth," he replied, lovestruck, and held her hand in his.

Then they immediately proceeded to make out.

Silena squealed.

Luke frowned.

Thalia scowled.

Beckendorf looked at the ground.

The Stoll brothers whipped out their cameras again.

Nico just stared.

After ten minutes, Silena glanced at her watch. It was physically impossible for two people to kiss for so long without coming up for air. Everyone else was starting to get bored.

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TWO HOURS LATER

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"Leave it to Jackson to mess everything up," Clarisse grumbled. "Let's go." Everyone else went back to their cabins, as it was dark.

After they had left, Percy and Annabeth were still kissing. If anything, it had become more passionate.

When they finally withdrew, Percy began to say, "Annabeth, you are the most beautiful girl—"

"What?" she asked, giggling.

"RUN! HARPIES!"

They both ran.

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**And the moral of the story, children, is that OOC characters always get their comeuppance, whether it be death by Harpies or flames. I've never loved Truth or Dare stories, I've always thought they were kind of pointless. And doesn't it bother you that when Percy and Annabeth kiss they always kiss for abnormally long amounts of time?**

…**no?**

**I guess I'm crazy, then.**

**Anyway, hope you liked it! Please click that little button down there and tell me whatever you think!**


	6. Sue Species 10089: Percy's Sister Sue

**Another twisted idea has sprung from my mind! That's right . . . it's time for the bashing of Percy's sister fics! Oh, and to Rainy, thank you. I am a genius. I know, rite? /sarcasm/**

**But without any further ado, please enjoy . . . Percy's Long Lost Sister!**

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**Percy's P.O.V.**

Ah, what a beautiful day at camp. The sound of metal on metal as well as screams from odd places and roaring monsters echoed in the melody of the morning.

Chiron had told me to come to the Big House. Apparently we had a new camper who was "special."

I skipped up to the hill, where a girl with long, jet-black hair was standing on the porch.

"Hi," I said uncertainly.

"Hi," she replied shortly. Her eyes were a vivid sea green, like mine.

"Have you already had the half-blood talk?" I asked.

"Yeah," she responded, because the author was too lazy to include the whole denial-and-acceptance-of-parentage thing. "I'm Melanie Jackson." She blinked through long-lashed eyes.

"I'm Percy," I said. "That's weird, my last name is Jackson too. Common last name, I guess." I felt an odd connection with her. She seemed strangely familiar. Chiron emerged from the house just then. "I see you are already acquainted," he said. "Melanie here is an oddly powerful half-blood." On cue she raised her hand and a wave of water doused me, leaving me dripping wet.

"Nooooo!" I screamed in agony, sinking to the ground onto my knees. "I'm meeelting!"

Melanie looked at me strangely. "Man up, Percy, it's just water." I got up.

"Sorry," I said hastily. "Son of Poseidon, ya know, not used to this thing." Suddenly a glowing green trident appeared over her head. So I have a new sister.

Hooray. Bring on the confetti.

"What's that?" she asked irritably, trying to crane her neck back.

"You've been claimed!" Chiron said cheerfully. "And you're Percy's sister! I'll go show you around."

I went back to my cabin to clean up, because Melanie would probably not be happy if she knew all the bunks were covered in snack-food wrappers and crumbs.

Suddenly, for no apparent reason, I was at the sword arena. I had no idea why I had come here, and why Melanie was here, because she was supposed to be on her tour.

"How did I get here?" I asked her, puzzled. She gave me a wide bright-white grin.

"I used my time-forwarding powers to speed it up," she said serenely. "I also was claimed by Kronos, which I have no idea how the heck happened, because as far as I know Kronos is in a million pieces and straight as Clarisse's hair. But now I have time and water powers." She smiled.

"Uh . . . okay," I said. "So do you want to learn some swordfighting techniques?" I was confident that even if she was all-powerful, she couldn't beat someone with more than three years of experience at swordfighting. I uncapped Riptide, and for the first time I noticed she had a weird bracelet on her arm. She tapped it and a silvery celestial bronze sword appeared. She grasped the hilt in one fluid, easy movement and smiled.

I didn't have to wait long before she attacked. She seemed stronger than I thought. Two seconds and she had knocked the blade out of my hands, deflecting my sword with her hilt with so much force it clattered twenty feet away from me.

Wow. My sister _pwns. _

And once again (it was starting to get on my nerves) she simply smiled brightly and flipped her long jet-black hair over her shoulder, green eyes flashing. When we went back to her cabin, all eyes were on her. Every male half-blood whistled when she passed, but she seemed to be used to it.

Then I was magically transported to my cabin, with Melanie sitting beside me on the opposite bunk. "Time spell?" I grumbled.

"You catch on fast," she said cheerily.

"But how did you _know _we were going to go to this cabin? You could have just transported us, not forwarded us in time."

I regretted speaking, because she then began to go into a long-winded discussion involving quantum physics, time travel, Stephen Hawking, and pineapples.

Great. So she's a daughter of Athena too. I had thought one was enough, and she was my _girlfriend. _

" . . . And that's how I saved hundreds of lives by killing the drakon that attacked my school in precisely twenty seconds with my powers," she finished, beaming. I nodded halfheartedly.

Little did I know, this time tomorrow, the fate of the world would rest on her shoulders . . .

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**Um . . . insert bad cliffie here. Anyway, the Percy's Sister species is a very different type of Mary Sue. Distinguishing qualities are attractive physical traits exactly like Percy's, as well as more strength and magical powers. *Goes into long-winded scientific discussion about different Mary Sue species* **

**Aaaanyway! Hopefully you liked this chapter. Even if you didn't, a review is appreciated!**

**Hope you liked it and don't forget to press that pretty white button, it turns a very charming shade of lime when you click it!**


	7. Annabeth Is Knocked Up

**Yay! 50 plus reviews! I love you guys all to death. Keep reading!**

**This chapter basically sums up what happens in all of these pregnancy fics, most of which are rather unrealistic and OOC. I just had to slip in some references to other series in terms of baby-naming, too. I find it fun to think of what would happen if Percy and Annabeth **_**were**_** trying to name a baby . . .**

**Anyway, enjoy this chapter!**

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**Percy's POV**

I was sitting on the couch when someone came up behind me. I spun around to see my girlfriend Annabeth, whom I've been going out with for a while.

"Hi," she said tersely.

"What's up?" I asked her.

"I have something to tell you," she said, looking uncomfortable. "I'm pregnant."

"WHAT?" I nearly screamed.

"I'm going to be a mother," she said weakly.

"OK, so what do we name . . . it?" I replied, because the most obvious reaction to hearing that you are going to be a father, especially being me, Percy Jackson, is what its name will be.

Annabeth's eyes shined. "If it's a girl, we'll name it Minerva," she said dreamily. Seriously, guys, could you get any less creative? Naming Percy and Annabeth's kid that isn't clever anymore.

"Oh," I said. "Naturally. So if it's a boy, we'll name him Neptune."

"No we freaking WON'T!" she yelled at me. "That sounds HORRIBLE! Almost as bad as Scorpius, or Albus Severus, or--" she shuddered. "_Renesmee. _I don't want to be one of those characters who names their kids something they'll be teased about."

"Minerva's a horrible name. Who names their kids Minerva anymore?"

"Gaspard Paradizo does . . . And who names their kids Neptune anymore?"

"Forget it. I'm sorry."

"I'm sorry too."

Then we proceeded to spontaneously and OOC-ly make out on the couch for no particular reason except for the author's fantasies.

Then there was a flash of bright light and Annabeth's mother, the goddess Athena, appeared, looking stern.

We both gasped. "Perseus Jackson," she boomed. "What have you done?"

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**Evil cliffy! I know it was short, but it makes it worse. The whole Athena-playing-protective-****mom-thing is overused, even if it's IC. She just randomly appears whenever Percy and** **Annabeth have romantic moments. It's kind of annoying, y'know? Maybe it would happen . . . but this thing is just way too overused for it to be interesting.**

**I don't think I even have to say it anymore. I really like reviews, so . . . just click that little button down there.**


	8. Meet Minerva Neptune Chase Jackson

**Hi everyone! I'm sorry I haven't updated for a while, as I took a hiatus from FanFiction for a while and this fic. First off, I want to say thanks to EVERYONE who reviewed the last chapter. I can't list them all, but you guys rock, and it's really appreciated. So, whether you're a first-time reader or a loyal one who has reviewed every chapter, I just want to say thanks, and give you more e-hugs 8)  
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**Anyway, this chapter is about another common species of Mary Sue: the Percy and Annabeth's Daughter Sue. I can't believe I never came up with it before, so here it is. Enjoy!**

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Minerva-Neptune Chase-Jackson was ready for her first summer at Camp Half-Blood.

. . . Wait, lolwhut?

Oh, right, Percy got Annabeth preggers and they had an awesome, super speshul baby girl whose name was totally normal.

Right.

Her eyes were a vivid shade of sea green and her hair as black as a raven's wing, she was both incredibly intelligent and had sea powers, and—wait for it—SHE was destined to save the world too! SHE was part of the next Great Prophecy! What an odd little coinkydink!

Since Minerva-Neptune was such a powerful and awesome demigod, she wasn't even attacked by monsters when she went anywhere. She was just that awesome.

Her parents doted over her and made sure she knew she was a half-blood from birth. They showered her with gifts and told her stories about past adventures as half bloods until the day finally came to send their precious daughter to Camp Half-Blood at age thirteen.

Anyway, back to the story.

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The second Minerva-Neptune arrived at camp, Chiron sensed her powerful aura and knew she was destined to save the universe from Kronos. Again. Around thirty years after he was _last_ defeated.

Uh huh. Right.

Chiron knew the girl was destined for greatness, but did not tell her for fear of scaring her.

All the boys were always mesmerized by her because she was so beautiful and talented. Her sea-green eyes were so deep and stunningly lovely. Her jet-black hair was like a long, shiny, perfectly straight curtain. Because Minerva-Neptune was so humble, though, she never pointed this out.

"This is truly my home," Minerva-Neptune said dramatically. "Everyone hates me at school, and with this place . . . with this place, I just feel a certain . . . _connection."_ Everyone else at camp gasped at how deep and understanding Minerva-Neptune was.

When Minerva-Neptune went to sleep, she dreamed horrible dreams of an evil black fog that engulfed the world and laughed evilly while trying to kill everyone. She knew it meant something, but _what? _Minerva-Neptune seemed happy outside, but inside her soul was tortured.

She struggled to perform everyday tasks, and finally someone asked her, "What's wrong, Minerva-Neptune?"

Minerva-Neptune sniffed. "I'm sorry," she said. "I just . . . I just feel like I don't belong here. This life is so hard, you know!" She broke down sobbing.

"Aww, Minerva-Neptune. You have such a difficult life and you're such an amazing person! Everything will be all right!" the half-blood reassured her. Minerva-Neptune was slightly comforted, but not fully secure.

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The next week, evil smog that could even penetrate the camp borders covered Camp Half-Blood.

"Mua ha ha ha! I am Kronos, reformed again . . . as a, um, cloud, you see. Anyway. I'm here to take over the WORLD! Again! Since those last two attempts didn't really work out, you know . . ."

"Gasp!" said Chiron and all the campers. "How shall we defeat this force of utter evil and darkness!" No one could seem to figure out how to defeat this sinister fiend.

Minerva-Neptune stepped out of nowhere, heroically carrying a celestial bronze sword with a slightly blue-tinged blade and seashells decorating the hilt. It could also turn into a pen, just like Riptide. How original. "I shall save the day, in order to keep up with the saving-the-world tradition that was started by my parents!"

And with that, she did some totally unnecessary ninja moves that did not affect Kronos in any way, but made her look a lot cooler. Then she thrust the sharp, magical blade into Cloud! Kronos, and the evil smog disappeared from over Camp Half-Blood, and a rainbow shone, and unicorns and ponies galloped along it.

Well, not that last part, but you get the idea. Everything was wonderful again.

Everyone held Minerva-Neptune up on their shoulders while cheering her name and saying "Savior of Olympus!" over and over.

"Oh," she said modestly, showing everyone how humble she was. "I really didn't do anything." She blushed, making herself look even more beautiful.

Suddenly the Writership burst into Camp Half-Blood out of nowhere, all its members pointing weapons at Minerva-Neptune.

"I think you _did _do something," Lauren Wesley said coolly. "You're arrested for being a Mary Sue, on counts of a funky name, possessing amazing powers, having unsurpassed beauty, and being cliche. We're here to take you to the Writership's High-Security Mary-Sue Containment Center."

"What?" Minerva-Neptune was bewildered. "NO! YOU CAN'T DO THIS!"

"Oh, I think we can." Lauren pulled out a tranquilizer gun.

Minerva-Neptune went absolutely berserk. A couple of authors stepped forward to control her. Being a Mary Sue, Minerva-Neptune was rather powerful, and it was somewhat difficult to hold her down.

Lauren shot her with the tranquilizer gun and an author hauled Minerva-Neptune over her back.

"Right then, our work here is done," Lauren said, saluting Chiron. "Have a nice day, everyone. We'll just be taking Minerva-Neptune to headquarters so she can't bother anyone anymore. It's nothing to worry about."

And with that, the Writership disappeared, leaving in its wake a crowd of very confused half-bloods.

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**The Writership and Lauren Wesley belong to the awesome Theia 47, and they are from her fic **The Death of Fanfiction. **She gave me her permission to use them, so thanks =)**

**I really don't think I have to say it, but leaving a review would be great! Criticism is accepted. **

**I'll probably update this with a new chapter within the next two weeks, so you can tell me to update soon all you want, but I won't be updating super soon.  
**


	9. In Which Percy is Fickle and Lovestruck

**Hi again, it's Kaleidoscope. I've been seeing way too many of these "Percy chooses immortality, but then he keeps thinking about Annabeth, yadda yadda yadda" fics (it's not as cliché as some plots, but it's still overused enough to the point that it mildly annoys me). I think this plot is fine, mainly the fact that Percy and Annabeth usually end up OOC is the main problem I have with it.**

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"Perseus Jackson!" Zeus boomed, waking up everyone sitting at the Olympian Council.

"GAH! Huh . . . what?" The sleepy, green-eyed demigod groggily sat up and was immediately jolted (literally) awake. "OH! Erm . . ."

Zeus drummed his fingers on the table impatiently, humming Muzak (_Damn those elevator tunes, _he thought). Ares was using a serrated butcher knife to clean his fingernails and admiring his reflection in it at the same time. Hera, sitting to Zeus's right and looking typically regal wearing a burgundy gown and stroking a peacock in a way reminiscent of the stereotypical movie villain sinisterly petting his cat, simply had a bored, blank look on her face.

_ Eureka! _Percy thought, looking very pleased with himself. "I have made a decision!"

"Hm?" Zeus said, raising an eyebrow. Everyone looked at Percy. He started to sweat under the twelve Olympian gazes.

"Yes," Percy continued tentatively, but growing more confident as he spoke. "I will choose immortality. I wish to become my father's undying attendant for all eternity."

Ares looked at Percy, confused. "Huh?"

Athena rolled her eyes, exasperated. She elbowed the war god in the gut sharply. "Eternity means _forever, _moron." She disdainfully turned away from Ares and focused once again on Percy. Ares glared at his sister as he nursed his wounded side, muttering obscenities under his breath.

Zeus shot a look at his quarreling children, and then said in a bored voice, "So you want to become immortal, little demigod? That is your one and only wish?" He turned to Percy, who still smiling stupidly in pride of what he thought was his genius plan.

"Yes, sir. I mean, Zeus. I mean, _Lord _Zeus."

Percy glanced at Annabeth, who was sitting a few seats away. Her visage was haggard and she looked rather sad, but Percy figured that was only because Luke had just died, along with many other demigods in the war. He gave her a nervous smile, and she gave him a weak one in return. Annabeth turned away from him.

_Gods, what's with her? Sheesh, what did I do? _Percy thought in all his eternal stupidity.

"Right then," Zeus said monotonously. He snapped his fingers and sat back in his chair.

Percy still looked exactly the same, but he instantly felt more comfortable and relaxed, even in the presence of the twelve Olympians, who were still scrutinizing him, seeking out any possible flaws.

He had just begun to relax himself when Annabeth started sobbing and ran out of the room with her hands covering her face.

"NOOOO! WISE GIRL!" Percy cried, running out of the room after her without so much as a second thought.

Annabeth was surprisingly fast, and Percy had to run to catch up with her. He could only grasp her beautiful, long flowing golden hair, which made her all the more beautiful. "NUUU! I'M SORRY!" Percy yelled, even though he didn't exactly know what he was sorry for; he just thought that "sorry" would be the appropriate thing to say in such a situation.

Annabeth skidded to a stop outside the Empire State Building. She didn't pull a Daphne and turn into a tree **(Props if you get that reference)**, but she collapsed on the steps and let out choked, erratic sobs; mostly hiccups. Percy put his arm around her shoulder gently, but Annabeth angrily shrugged it off.

"What's wrong, Annabeth?" he asked her in his most soothing voice possible.

"YOU KNOW WHAT'S WRONG, YOU BASTARD!" Annabeth said and shoved Percy away hard, taking out her PMS on him. Angry tears ran down her face.

"No," Percy said, shaking his head, still confused. "I . . . don't know what's wrong. Um, can you tell me? That might be helpful."

"You turned immortal!" Annabeth said angrily. "You . . . you . . . _knew _I love you, Percy!" She burst into fresh sobs, snatching away Percy's sweatshirt and burying her head in it.

"Oh," Percy said, surprised. "You . . . loved me?"

Annabeth hiccupped and stared at Percy with red-rimmed eyes and tears running down her face, but he still thought she was the most beautiful girl in the world. "Yes," she said, glaring at him. "I _love _you," she corrected. "Not the past tense. I still do."

"I . . . I love you too, Annabeth," Percy said, leaning in to kiss her. But she pushed him away dramatically.

"We can never be together, can't you see? You're a god and I'm just a half-blood. You chose immortality, Percy." She stared at him with sad eyes.

"But . . . but . . ." Percy started, but Annabeth had already started to walk away. Percy stared after his true love dejectedly.

The Olympians emerged from the doorway behind him. Percy could have sworn that he saw a smirk on Athena's face, but it disappeared as soon as he looked at her; her face turning emotionless and stony once more.

"I . . . I loved her!" Percy cried. "This is a curse!" He gazed up at the gods with such anguish that they almost took pity on him. Aphrodite looked interested.

"ANNABETH! COME BACKKKKKKKK!" he howled. "Is there any way I can become mortal again?" He looked up at Zeus hopefully, but the King of Heaven shook his head. "No can do."

"Wait!" Aphrodite suggested, unable to keep the glee out of her voice. "How about . . . we make Annabeth a goddess?" She clasped her hands together joyfully and laughed gaily.

Athena looked rather disappointed and started muttering to herself. But Zeus looked vaguely interested—never mind the fact that little demigods' silly issues of love and such should have meant nothing to him, and that one didn't just go making immortal gods left and right.

"Yes," Zeus said decidedly. "Annabeth Chase will be turned into a goddess." Percy stopped sniffling.

"Now wait just one—" Athena objected hotly, interrupting.

"SILENCE, DAUGHTER!" Zeus commanded, and the vexed goddess of wisdom kept her mouth shut.

Annabeth then proceeded to come out of nowhere. She became a goddess with no vote at all. Then she fell into Percy's arms and they started kissing in a passionate embrace. Now they would be attractive teenagers forever and be in true love for all eternity.

"Oh, I just love deus ex machina!" Aphrodite giggled happily.

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**That was actually quite fun to write. I'll probably be upping the length of this fic's chapters as well. Anyway, I do hope you liked it, and even if you didn't, I would still appreciate if you left a review kindly stating why.**

**Thanks for reading!**


	10. Update!

**Update!**

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Hey, guys!

First of all, I'd like to thank all of my readers for keeping up with this story for so long, leaving such ego-boosting reviews, and supporting it by putting it on their favorites or alerting it. It was because of _you _that I was able to win the Humor/Parody category for the Veritas Awards Round Three.

I suggest you check the Veritas Awards out (there's a link to it on my profile), because they're dedicated to rewarding the best in Percy Jackson and the Olympians fanfiction through reader nominations and voting, and I think it's a real honor that I won, so I'd like to just plug the site here because I think it deserves it. ^^

As for the status of the fic itself, I will probably not be making any more chapters in the near future (cue the AWWs!). I have school as well as other things to do, but this does not mean that I am flat-out discontinuing this fic. You can definitely expect one more chapter before I end it for good, though it's not going to be up by, say, tomorrow.

Anyway, thanks again for supporting the Hall of Shame and being such loyal readers!

Signing off,

Kaleidoscope Flowers


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